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BFCSA: The Dead Horse theory of Bureaucracy - Direct form Canberra

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Sent in by Steve BFCSA member - Subject: The Dead Horse theory of Bureaucracy - Direct form Canberra So why is it some are so slow to learn.....

The Dead Horse Theory  

The tribal wisdom of the Plains Indians, passed on from generation to generation, says that "When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount." However, in government more advanced strategies are often employed, such as:

1. Buying a stronger whip.

2. Changing riders.

3. Appointing a committee to study the horse.

4. Arranging to visit other countries to see how other cultures ride dead horses.

5. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.

6. Reclassifying the dead horse as living-impaired.

7. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.

8. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed.

9. Providing additional funding and/or training to increase the dead horse's performance.

10. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse's performance.

11. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some other horses.

12. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses.

And, of course...

13. Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CHANGE CAN ONLY HAPPEN BY THE PEASANTS GROUPING TOGETHER................who needs a dead horse bureaucracy!  NOT US.

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  • doyla66
    doyla66 Wednesday, 22 January 2014

    No truer words were ever spoken and I know for I lived and worked in Canberra for 4 years during a very interesting time when Hawke was PM and paid very well to teach public servants how to use PC’s and OMG was that challenging! Most definitely a city minus a soul and the only 2 places to go at weekends to feel you were not living in a ghost town were Queanbeyan OR the Canberra races!
    1. Buying a stronger whip – yep - a lot of that was sure then going on!
    2. Changing riders – yep - first place in the country where that was made legal!
    3. Appointing a committee to study the horse – yep - pretty much all they did during working hours!
    4. Arranging to visit other countries to see how other cultures ride dead horses – yep - the airport was one of the most thriving places there and all the best parties were at the embassies!
    5. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included – yep - sure were increasing the size of the Public service between 1981-1985 AND to grow dope was (and still is) legal for one's own private consumption!
    6. Reclassifying the dead horse as living-impaired – yep lots of reclassifying for all they do is switch departments when too impaired to do the current job!
    7. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse – yep - had just then opened up for private computer consultants to help them.
    8. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed – yep – the teams of computer consultants moving in to help the cause just kept on growing!
    9. Providing additional funding and/or training to increase the dead horse's performance – yep money to burn for training – the difficulty was finding which of up to 50 within departments with the word training in their title was he/she with the authority to spend it!
    10. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse's performance – yep lots of productivity then going on as they built their new grand light filled Parliament House to help the cause leaving the carcass intact!
    11. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some other horses – yep - lots of deadwood and everywhere!
    12. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses – yep - untold new laws being enacted and many others being amended!
    And, of course...
    13. Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position – well guess being PM is not a bad consolation prize to being the Pope but not holding my breath knowing Gail Kelly is in Davos keeping an eye on him-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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